WORKSWELL NOTE #6

So Is Fruitcake

I’ve been helping out with some job searches these past couple of months, and the other day I did a feedback call with one of the candidates with whom I’d spoken. She’d been advanced to the second round, but wasn’t moved forward as a finalist. In the email letting her know, I said - genuinely - that I’d been impressed by her, that I hoped she’d stay involved with the organization, and that I was happy to do a call to provide more feedback if she’d like. All of which I meant. She replied that she was interested in staying involved, and that she’d very much appreciate the feedback.
So I prepared. I reviewed my notes from our interview and the notes my fellow interviewer shared with me. I listed the strengths I’d seen, and the things that had given the committee pause. I ran the notes through Claude and asked for suggestions on how to frame the feedback, and took some of its suggestions. I wrote it all up and had it in front of me when we spoke.​

I’m pretty convinced that as mammals, we’re basically lame at feedback. As a result, feedback is a mixed bag. People often say feedback is a gift, but that always makes me think, “so is fruitcake.” (Completely random aside: if you’ve never read “Just Desserts” from the Texas Monthly, about the embezzlement case at the Colin Street Bakery, stop reading this and go read it now: https://www.texasmonthly.com/true-crime/just-desserts/)
We get better at things by doing them frequently, and because we’ve come to associate feedback almost exclusively with talking about what isn’t working, we avoid it and then get worse at it, both the giving and receiving. Feedback, like most worthwhile things, takes time to do well. It benefits from being intentionally designed to be useful and actionable for the recipient. I know that’s blindingly obvious, but I also think it’s a genuinely helpful way to think about it.
For this issue, I wanted to share a few feedback tools I’ve learned from my time at the Stanford d.school (where I’m having a blast on this latest interim engagement - thanks for all the nice notes on LinkedIn!):

1. I like, I wish, I wonder. A straightforward activity to close out almost any kind of engagement. Set aside five to ten minutes for people to share something they liked about the session or activity, something they wished for (something that might have gone differently, or felt missing), and something the session made them wonder about. You can do it out loud, or have people write on post-its for a wall. The point is to normalize giving and receiving feedback while building the muscle.
   
2. I used to think, now I think. A Mad Libs-style fill-in-the-blank exercise that invites people to notice how something shifted their thinking. Same goal: baking reflection into how we go about our days.
   
3. Feedback as benevolent critique. This one asks you to find two friends or colleagues, each with something you’d like feedback on. Since it’s about practice, it’s easier if the piece isn’t something you’re too invested in, but don’t let the lack of an obviously critique-worthy project stop you from trying it. If you do, let me know how it goes. Hat tip to Sarah Stein Greenberg’s book Creative Acts for Curious People for this one. The “How to Give Feedback” activity was developed by Andrea Small, with inspiration from Aaron Irizarry, Karen Cheng, and John Moore Williams: https://dschool.stanford.edu/tools/how-to-give-feedback)
   

Speaking of the d.school (and the getting there), I’ve become a person who talks about my commute. A lot. I think about it a lot too, and maybe weirdly, there are parts I really love. I know! “Love” and “commute” rarely show up in the same sentence. But here’s the thing: it turns out I love listening to books on tape in the car. I started with Jim Collins’ new book What to Make of a Life - highly recommend, five stars! Now I’m in the middle of Katherine Graham’s Personal History (Collins recommends it as the single best CEO memoir ever written, and I think he’s right); as someone who grew up in DC with Katherine Graham part of the landscape, it’s revelatory and moving.
My album-of-the-week crusade continues, too. So far: The Stones’ new album Foreign Tongues, David Grisman’s Mondo Mando, Allison Russell’s In the Hour of Chaos, Al Green Explores Your Mind, Cahalen Morrison’s Old Timey and New Fangled, and Erykah Badu and The Alchemist’s new album Before the World Blows. This week’s listen is a little more obscure - Ike Quebec’s Bossa Nova Soul Samba - recommended by a new client from the Siesta Valley Bowl. If you live in the Bay Area, definitely check them out - a new performance venue where CalShakes used to be, featuring live music that will help you prolong the summer!
The third thing I love about the commute is other people. Not the ones in other cars so much, but Elizabeth has guest-commuted with me, which makes it feel more like a road trip than a commute, and I’ve taken to both scheduling calls and randomly just calling friends and family. Remember that? When you’d just call someone instead of scheduling a time to talk? It’s really quite enjoyable.
In other updates, The Chair Project keeps growing, and I’m learning a lot from a more cohort-based model, working with five different Camp Fire affiliates. I’m also excited to launch a new engagement working with Co-Chairs, to see how that experience differs. The Chair Pairs have been meeting, and I’m hoping to get a better read this fall on how they’re faring, possibly adjusting the frequency and the amount of support The Chair Project offers. If you, or someone you know, is a Board Chair and interested in being part of The Chair Project going forward, I’m planning to take on new engagements in January. Email me and let’s talk.
One fun, slightly random development over the summer: a rogue LinkedIn group called The Play People, founded by Matthew Corson-Finnerty, an architectural fabricator turned playground designer turned virtual community organizer. Matthew organized an improbably complicated game on LinkedIn involving posting and mucking about with profiles, and generally reminding everyone that it’s possible to take your work seriously while not taking yourself too seriously. Especially noteworthy, I thought, was the fact that this group managed to come a lot closer to LinkedIn’s theoretical goal of promoting networking and human connection than almost any other initiative I’ve seen on the platform. Play strikes again! Congratulations to the winner, Erin Faehrmann, who received a t-shirt emblazoned with the Play People’s mascot, Melton. You can probably guess where this is going: the shirt is now in Jill’s Tee Shop, with all proceeds benefiting the Playworks Pennsylvania program (because that’s where Melton and Matthew live).
OK, that’s it for this issue. Thanks for reading, and please don’t hesitate to reach out if there’s something here that prompts you to do or think something you’d like to share.
Thanks, jill
PS The Valkyries are in second place (like, of the whole WNBA!), which is mind-blowing for a team in their second season. Whatever happens, I am putting my love and appreciation for the team out into the universe.
PPS It feels like we’ve lost a bunch of amazing people these last few weeks. In their collective honor I’m sharing a link to a poem I’ve always loved, Wendell Berry’s Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front.